This involved being physically attacked by 2 members after being very publically 'disowned' by Lodro (who has now disrobed) and then placed on coventry by the ordained members, who told all residents not to speak with me whilst I remained living in the centre. Not having the financial resources to immediately move out my mental health, understandably, went downhill to the extent that I would remain in my room fantasizing about hanging myself from the scaffolding which was then surrounding the building. In short, I became clinically depressed. I continued to reside at this centre for some 8 months when only one former friend had the courage to speak with me openly. Another did in secret - scared of the consequences of being seen associating with me. All the other residents, many who had been firm friends, simply shunned me, even including on Christmas day, which I spent alone.
To give a little background to this. I had been drawn into the centre by the seeming friendliness of the residents and visitors. Whilst having an enquiring mind ( I took a BA in philosophy as a mature student) I did have some expressed questions and uncertainties about certain aspects of the NKT approach yet I felt, given the personal warmth I had experienced, I would move in and explore the faith.
I was also very deeply moved by the teachings of Gendun (now disrobed - and an Osho monk) where I would experience very positive transcendent mental states (which would albeit only last a few hours after the session). I became increasingly uneasy that the teachings at the centre were by rote and members were being asked to place their faith in something (Geshla, the center's head teacher, the ordained) and then often worked very hard in cleaning up the centre, distributing publicity etc.
Increasingly friends would come to me and talk about their disturbing experiences with members of staff and/or with aspects of how the centre was run. These comments were unsolicited yet apparently I'm a good listener and, having trained as a counsellor (person centered), knew about standing out the way and just letting people speak their truth.
One friend reported being in tears from how she'd been spoken to by the new centre manager. Another found her chaotic in her approach and was exasperated at contradictory signals. Alarmingly, a recently ordained member would arise and then regularly slag her off! These, and many other comments, I found, over time, wearing. I also had a sense of the injustice of people feeling badly treated by the administration yet not able to confront or resolve their difficulties, often out of fear of being evicted.
I've since found I can fall into the advocate role and have done so for a few people with some effectiveness.
In a group meeting at the centre, attended by the residents, staff and ordained, I had the courage to raise the issue of dissatisfactions expressed and I named the director involved. None of the people who had been complaining then spoke out and it was left that it was simply inappropriate for me to have raised the issue in such as group.
I became increasingly disillusioned with life at the centre, feel behind with my rent, and at the following meeting I was summoned from my room and, to a packed hall, the resident teacher Lodro declared I was 'no longer a member of the community and therefore he didn't have to speak to me'.
One brave soul came and sat next to me in solidarity. No one else spoke up.
At the end of the meeting all these people who had confided and bitched (for want of a better word) so much simply snubbed me. I walked, in shock, toward the main door of the building and was accosted by by two residents who literally physically attacked me, accusing me of stealing from the center (for being behind with my rent). I luckily got outside the building and raised my voice alerting people from the apartments opposite (I felt physically scared). A nun than rang the police and I was escorted from the grounds for being 'disruptive'.
A great irony is that with the exception of the people who attacked me (and a relative of theirs), and one other person (who describes herself as a Christian), ALL the people who resided at the centre and joined in the cruel coventry decree have either disrobed or simply disassociated themselves from the NKT.
The chief administrator, who many people had found difficult to deal with, herself was later simply asked to leave the centre and relocate with her child to a new area (thereby severing ties for her child from the school etc). I believe she subsequently became very angry. She has distanced herself from the centre and no longer teaches. She is a regular contributor to this site.
With the exception of Lodro, I haven't mentioned names as I don't want to detract from the plain horror of the practices of the NKT.
I have been approached to 'expose' the NKT to certain national papers but, as yet, haven't had the mental resources to do so.I do feel there is a moral imperative to alert people to what many have found to be a harmful institution.
My experience with the NKT I can only describe as a massive disillusionment with buddhism, religious institutions and, worse of all, community; also, to an extent, friendship.
A few of the people who shunned me at the center, having moved out, are now again friends. They have apologized for their behavior and said that they were simply scared to talk to me given that they faced eviction and social exclusion themselves if they did.
I've been lucky in finding a good therapist who I see weekly to deal with this stuff.
I dread replies to this mail with the trite 'it's all in your mind' mantra, or 'it was your responsibility'. These philosophical observations are often simply waved about as self evident truths whose simple pronouncement is made to excuse and condone atrocious behavior.
I speak with two people who still reside in NKT property and have some faith. I respect their perspective and would not wish to disillusion them from something I hope serves them. One is chronically depressed. The other, ordained, has mental health issues which they believe the NKT will assist.
If any of the people who placed me on coventry would care to apologize that could be potentially healing.
I would prefer not to read a lot of defensive justifications for behavior but understand that this is a (hopefully) open forum so would ultimately welcome them.
On one level of course the people in the centre were pretty lost and simply clinging to a group identity , at whatever price, to have a (short lived) sense of meaning and identity. This has been a dangerous phenomenon throughout such as recent european history.
Jungians, for explain, posit that scapegoating is a process that occurs in most groups to the extent that the impulse to scapegoat isn't addressed consciously and directly. The group can often form around Exclusion.
In advocacy, in such as speaking up for the 'underdog', I've learnt to watch my back and ensure that in the process I don't get singled out and scapegoated myself.
I've also learnt that the charisma of religious teachers is something not to put faith in.
Lodro, the great charismatic star of the NKT who'd pack halls with his witty teachings, has finally disrobed and gone off with the last resident teacher of the Bodhisattva centre - also disrobed.
Life is comic.
